Uchiha Itachi's Boom Box of Glory
by moor
Summary: Naruto-verse. Parody. GWNI Prompt: Someone is standing outside of Sakura's home, under her window, with a boombox. Rated 'M' for themes, to be cautious.


AN: GWNI Prompt: Someone is standing outside of Sakura's home, under her window, with a boombox.  
AN: I make no profit from this story, all characters are property their copyright holders.

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Neji extended his Byakugan once more to ensure he was alone in the darkness then proceeded to hop the fence at Sakura's dwelling, onto her property.

He debated scaling the wall but decided against it; it was well known her team mates and captains—current and former—were deviously protective of her and her privacy. And person. And chastity. Poor girl.

Erring on the side of caution, he collected a handful of small pebbles and tossed them lightly against the window where she was silhouetted against the curtains. Her two storey split level stucco home was small, and in a nice enough section of Konoha's civilian quarter. The planters on her front porch were well tended, her rear garden was lush and she had situated a lovely fountain in her courtyard, near the old stone wall, that would have made his family jealous had they known she cultivated such a peaceful oasis.

But he was not there for serenity, exactly.

"Haruno," he called softly as she stirred behind the curtains and poked her head out the window.

"Neji?"

"I regret the tardiness of my visit, but I am in need of assistance."

"Come on in, I keep first aid supplies on every floor," she said with a wave and a yawn. "I'll meet you at the—"

"No, I need you to help me get into the Uchiha compound. You are permitted to cross their wards, correct?"

"Neji, what did Naruto trick you into?"

"I would prefer to limit the discussion of details. Suffice it to say I would greatly wish to return something of great importance to them."

"Neji, I am not escorting you to the Uchiha district. It's 2:47am and I have work in less than five and a half hours. What has to go back?" she sighed, rubbing her face as she leaned out the window again.

Neji was silent a moment before he turned and lifted the heavy object to show her.

Sakura's eyes widened and she choked.

"Is that—"

"Uchiha Itachi's Boombox of Glory," said Neji solemnly. "It has fallen to me to return it to its rightful owner."

Above him, Sakura had stilled, her hands gripping her window sill.

"But Neji, we're talking years since that thing went missing. The rumours about it being stolen circulate in the academy even now, to scare the genin!" she gasped when she found her voice, and she fidgeted as she stood there. "Oh kami, I'm involved. I'm an accessory."

"No, no, I just need an escort to confirm safe passage through the Uchiha district to return it—"

"You'll be lucky if you don't get bumped back down to Chunnin, Neji!" she hissed. Then she paled, and her pale skin turned ashen in the moonlight. "Is the mix tape still in there?"

Neji nodded once. "It is."

"The legendary Uchiha Itachi Mix Tape of Wonder. Wow." Sakura shook her head free of her awe. "Okay, here's the deal. Put it inside my front door, by the landing, and leave it there. I'll arrange for it to get over there, and keep your name out of it, but you'll owe me for this, Neji."

"A thousand blessings on the house of Haruno," said Neji as he stole away quickly, stashed the 1980s era stereo, and then flashed into Sakura's garden again. "You'll confirm when complete?"

"Yes, probably not for a day or two, though. Give me some time to work out the best in-an-out strategy. Short, sweet &amp; clean, that's what we need. And a bit of finesse."

"I bow to your superior skill in this," said Neji with a salute. "Thank you."

"We'll talk later. Go, now!"

He nodded once more and disappeared.

A moment or two passed before Sakura quietly closed the sash of the window and locked it.

Then she turned to the two dark-haired, dark-eyed shirtless men in her master bedroom. "Well, we got your boombox back," she said to Itachi, and he smirked at her. "AND Neji will be pussyfotting around you for kami only knows how long, and you," she turned to Sasuke, "now know exactly why Neji will be attentive to any request you make about needing time off to make me happy when we go public next week about the forthcoming bundle of joy."

Sasuke's smirk rivalled his brother's, though his eyes were slightly wider in admiration.

"You know, this was quite devious of you."

"Mmmm, you think? And now he owes me, too."

"Marry us both," said Itachi, mouthing her throat.

Sakura chuckled. "Perhaps."


End file.
